The World’s Manliest Podcast

That “spectre” of Japan, moe cursed by manly men and loved by otaku. Thinking about it makes my blood boil like water on a hot stone. See, I can’t define moe for you, because people suck and make up their own self-forgiving definition for the term moe. See, it’s not a word as so much a retarded blanket word, for either the fetishization of cute, feeling of father/brotherhood (motherhood?) for a character or some other crap I really don’t give s shit about. My definition of moe is, being attracted to characters that have the face of a little girl, and the body of a twelve yr old, with gigantic boobies. Then treating her as if she was your daughter/sister and then you two have an emotional dependency, and then you fuck her. Yeah, that’s what I think moe truly is. It’s a fetish, and not a genre. Don’t fucking put it on the same level as sci-fi, fantasy or mecha. It’s a fucking fetish so loser otaku can feel they have meaning in their lives by pretending to be some fictional girl’s dad/brother. It’s pretty fucking lame and if you’re gonna pretend to be someone’s brother, why not be Kenshiro’s brother? At least you’re gonna die in an awesome way, and you too will know kung fu! And will be part of the constellation of the sky (I like to imagine my name is Tatsuhiro who has the fist of the Hercules constellation, and I can break limbs with a single flick of my finger, it’s totally awesome dudes). That’s why you don’t list moe as a genre, but a fucking fetish. This will also give the otaku the image of creepy little girl loving freaks. I use to think of anime as the industry of giant robots, giant monsters and bad ass motherfuckers that transformed into shit and manly men. Now, I look at anime and think “oh Jesus, what happened, we get all this shitty crap, the turds in my toilet are cooler than the shit their spewing”. Where did all the manly men go? Where are all the passionate giant robot pilots who don’t need a gajillion upgrades, nor color changes but just heart and soul (I know, gurren lagaan made up for it, but still) and bad ass chicks who aren’t in high school and are as sexy as they are bad ass. Man, I miss those days when anime was known for having mechs and chicks in powered armor, now it’s giant robots and little girls in power armor. Thanks Japan, I hate you! May the gods of manliness punish your moe-loving ass! Fucking moe!

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This show might have:

A hot chick whos totally a dude

She totally is

and maybe guitar wolf

This also has baby kicking

Listen Now:

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put this in your podcast and play it yo!

Listen Now:

 Standard Podcasts: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download | Embeddable Player

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Now, everyone who’s seen the film Juno, with Ellen Paige is creaming their pants.

Would you like to know more?

Fuck yeah you do, cause you have a penis, and this is for those with penises, and whose balls are harder than super alloy Z. but this movie is not for you, this movie is for those with vaginas, so those with them present please leave, wait, girls don’t exist on the internets, so it’s cool dudes, grab your manly brew skis and let’s discuss this film.

Ok, so the people who have creamed their pants are women, people who own vaginae and hearts. But see, here at the WMP, you can’t have both (even if you do, let’s pretend you don’t cause this is a place for the badasses of the internets).

Now, this is not a review, but a manly journey, of a heartless steel balled man watching a movie which is filled unnecessary teenage faggotry[1]. Now, in this movie, everyone is WAAAACKY!!!

MOTHER FUCKING WACKY, everyone is wacky, her dad, her boyfriend, her best friend AND THE WOMAN AT THE FUCKING ABORTION CLINIC! Yeah, the teenagers are “cool” and “hip” speaking like retards and “hipsters” making references to crap an awesome piece of podcasting man meat like I and my awesome IT fight guy co host DrasticV do not give to interplanetary destructive shits about (cause when I shit, entire micro colonies of acroyears are destroyed, and then the micromen praise me as their giant robot man god, I swear upon the gods of the Micromen it’s all true). This movie fucking sucks, and is horrible; I cannot express in words my hatred for this film. The main character reminds me of this asshat[2] from my school who fucking talks like her. He’s “cool” and “hip”, reads faggoty ass Scott Pilgrim (horrible comics, don’t fucking read them, only losers do) who’s also good at painting people I don’t give two interplanetary shits about.

Ok, so now, she just went to the people who want to adopt her little vaginal turd, and Jason Bateman, plays his crappiest (creepiest) role, as some guy who seems to be hitting on Juno. Now, I’m all for child-loving[3] but I mean, Juno’s too fucking annoying to be fucked, and you know, Ellen Paige is attractive, and surely a good actress, cause I had never wanted to punch someone in my life so hard. Wait, scratch that, This movie makes me wish I had no soul and was a heartless killing machine[4] and destroy everyone, EVERYONE, you, your mom, Juno’s friends, Micheal Cera and anyone involved in this film, shall we continue?

After meeting the two vag turd lovers, she goes to their rich-ass bathroom and uses some of Jason Bateman’s wife’s perfume and make up cream (she’s played by the chick who played Elektra, so she’s not important[5]). She then leaves the bathroom, and Jason Bateman sees her and she asks him to smell her wrists. Now, if someone came to my house, and tells me that the used my toiletries, and asked me to smell them, I would fucking rip them apart like the hulk. They would already be dead. Jason bateman also has the most pedo-fucking-phelic eyes ever, man alive, he wants to give it to Juno badly. Fuck Jason Bateman! Jesus! Now, you ask “but our god of manliness, machismo, battle and bravado, and lord of all hot angry women, why do you continue to torture yourself like this, surely, this must be hell!” Well, since, this dynamite bodied god of awesome is sitting here, I’m gonna answer my own question, this is for you my listeners, and people who can stand my annoyingly god-like voice. This is to please my awesome listeners[6].

Now, Juno, has visited Jason Bateman, and I’m feeling a rape coming (I could be wrong though dudes, and god forbid I’m right). This movie also has inane chatter that does not move a film forward. Some movies did, and Quenting Tarantino fucking did this, you lazy ass fucker. It’s called pacing, learn it sometime assholes. Don’t fill time, or think inane chatter is a necessary part of your shit fests called your films. They suck, and I’m gonna finish this off, and possibly make another article, so stay tuned for part two[7]. (I can’t stand this film, now I’m gonna watch Starship troopers go Rico’s Roughnecks! Cause this is just hell, I’d rather stick blunt blades into my legs).

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AFdy8nktP-o

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=asA-htsEDB0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UhHhXukovMU

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Ok, so, you know, lover of action figures, I admit it I love the stuff, but I’m very picky with a tight budget, which leads me to the gunpla. I spend it on gunpla due to its more nostalgic reasons and I mean c’mon, giant robots very awesome. But there’s something else that has stolen the heart of my boy hood self. It’s Kaiyodo’s revoltech line, which is filled with some of the most kick ass action figure lines. There’s Gurren lagaan, Go Nagai products (getter robo mazinkaiser), Fist of the North Star and Macross. There’s also some real robot and srw stuff, but I won’t get into that. They’re true awesome line though is the Assemble Borg. It’s like GI-Joe for adults; the line includes weapons sets, motorcycles, plain bodies, extra heads and all that awesome stuff. The drawback of this awesome sounding line is IT DOESN’T EVEN EXIST! Fuck Kaiyodo! Microman is falling faster than a mountain climber with no hope, and this could totally take all the microman fans by storm. Granted, it’d be very similar, but it seems like they won’t fall in the trap of combining their licensed lines into the assemble Borg line. I think that’s what destroyed microman, that and really plain lines. I also think the microman toys should have been tougher, but that’s for another blog. The other strength of this line is that it’s tougher and less delicate than their Takara brethren (also more cooler). They also happen to resemble the old school Takara cyborg 99.

Jarknoid Zain

Jarknoid supplement parts

Mr. Assemble

Tristriker for the goodguys

(there are no pictures of the Fraulein line because I’m lazy and I hate it too much.)

Now, on to their god cursed line…the revoltech fraulein…which I think is a cruel joke from god. It involves the really shitty looking game idol master line of girls who look like they’re twelve yr old idols. There’s also the line of Eva chicks, some chick from some crap game and then some design from some crappy artist I don’t give a fuck about. I never got the point of buying a figure or a toy of a chick, I guess I’m not grown up in that way but I mean, the only action figure of a female character I would buy is Levy or the chick from Votoms. Even then, I’d just display it or probably forget about it just to have the extra accessories for Chirico. But you see, buying an action figure of Rei or asuka or Pocco seem kinda pointless, you’re not gonna play with it, nor would I be proud of displaying it. It’s also not like it’s aimed for girls, if it was, then I’d be super cool with it, but it’s not. They’re also obsessive about details, like giving them panties and that shit. If you wanna look at porn, look at fucking porn, don’t combine porn and toys. Kaiyodo, what’ up bro! You were cool with the patlabors, and mazinkaisers and getter robos. But you also make these crappy fraulein action figures.

More info for assembleborg

http://www.figures.com/databases/action.cgi?setup_file=cjtnews2.setup&category=cooljt&topic=5&show_article=80

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OK, so there’s news from gunota that gunpla prices will rise, I for one am pissed and saddened. I need that money! bandai, please, let this be a rumor!

artice

ITmedia News reports Bandai is looking into a mark-up on the price of Gunpla. According to the news, the reason for this is a steep rise in the cost of materials as a result of high oil prices. When the change in pricing might occur, exactly what merchandise it will affect, and how much it will be is not known. Bandai’s PR department is quoted as saying, “The details haven’t been decided but there is a change in merchandise specifications which has added cost to new parts & booklets for Gunpla and we will be repricing.”

A week ago, Aoi Model Shop, a blog said to be run by an employee in a hobby shop on the outskirts of Akihabara, claimed there would be a 10-20% increase in HGUC and MG kit prices beginning around May. Oil prices were cited as the reason. Furthermore, the site said it looked as though old merchandise would also be marked up as it was reissued. As with the official news, it was said there were details yet to be settled

courtesy of gunota, more news concerning gunpla and all that good stuff there.

http://aeug.blogspot.com/

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Guy1: hey, wanna meet my new child?

Guy2: wait, you have a kid?

Guy1: yeah, here look

Pulls out a dollfie

Guy2: JESUS! DIE YOU ASSHAT! Punches guy in the throat and steals his money.

For those in the know, you know what the hell I’m talking about right? Some doll made by the Japanese company Volks, which other things manufactures…well, that’s all they fucking make, that and some Five star stories models, but those things suck. So, for those not in the know, Dollfies (super dollfies to be exact) are these dolls, that people spend INSANE amounts of money on to individualize and customize. These dolls are like plastic fashion models, made to a persons exact tastes. Now, I myself am a fan of action figures, model kits and gashapon and all that plastic hobby stuff. But collecting and being obsessed and treating a doll better than you is just being a total loser. Now, see, I collect and spend money on my gunpla, fuck I even call it gunpla, which shows how serious I am about it. But I have my limits. Even I wouldn’t travel to japan and spend weeks there just to christen my new Rx-79G High grade “Astaelvas” (god what a gay name) and give it a background story. Yeah, that’s right they do that. Also these super dollfie owners take so much pictures, it’s not even fucking funny. They name them and treat them as if they were important deities you had to take gajillion pictures of. It’s fucking nuts! They also have more clothes and accessories than Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie combined. You see, people who spend all this time and money into something so trivial, uncreative and pointless (yeah, that’s right, it’s not creative, just pointless, no one should be getting satisfaction from this crap). The plastic and materials and money they’re making from this could be used to make like the most awesome FOTNS action figure ever, complete with rubber skin and realistic cloth. But no, instead they’re making fairies and pretty boys who look like women but really are guys, who are your child and will always love you. DOLLFAGS YOUR HUNKS OF PLASTIC WILL NEVER LOVE YOU!CAUSE THEY’RE MOTHERFUCKING PLASTIC! See, I get satisfaction from the fact that when I build a model kit, I’m building something that has destroyed and killed innocents (fictional but still, I mean come on! let me have this!), and that gives me comfort. My plastic models are machines of destruction, not gay fairy fags, creepy female dolls (bought and masturbated to by sad otaku) or some creepy child-looking dolls (also masturbated to by sad otaku). This shit makes me hate you Japan, I hope robots revolt and kill dollfie owners and Volks, FUCK YOU VOLKS YOU SUCK! I HOPE SATAN BRINGS YOU BACK INTO THE DARKNESS!

See the faggotry here;

http://community.livejournal.com/superdollfie

http://www.volksusa.com/

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