Super dollfie: the key to loserdom
Posted in Podcasts on Mar 1st, 2008 56 Comments »
Guy1: hey, wanna meet my new child?
Guy2: wait, you have a kid?
Guy1: yeah, here look
Pulls out a dollfie
Guy2: JESUS! DIE YOU ASSHAT! Punches guy in the throat and steals his money.
For those in the know, you know what the hell I’m talking about right? Some doll made by the Japanese company Volks, which other things manufactures…well, that’s all they fucking make, that and some Five star stories models, but those things suck. So, for those not in the know, Dollfies (super dollfies to be exact) are these dolls, that people spend INSANE amounts of money on to individualize and customize. These dolls are like plastic fashion models, made to a persons exact tastes. Now, I myself am a fan of action figures, model kits and gashapon and all that plastic hobby stuff. But collecting and being obsessed and treating a doll better than you is just being a total loser. Now, see, I collect and spend money on my gunpla, fuck I even call it gunpla, which shows how serious I am about it. But I have my limits. Even I wouldn’t travel to japan and spend weeks there just to christen my new Rx-79G High grade “Astaelvas” (god what a gay name) and give it a background story. Yeah, that’s right they do that. Also these super dollfie owners take so much pictures, it’s not even fucking funny. They name them and treat them as if they were important deities you had to take gajillion pictures of. It’s fucking nuts! They also have more clothes and accessories than Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie combined. You see, people who spend all this time and money into something so trivial, uncreative and pointless (yeah, that’s right, it’s not creative, just pointless, no one should be getting satisfaction from this crap). The plastic and materials and money they’re making from this could be used to make like the most awesome FOTNS action figure ever, complete with rubber skin and realistic cloth. But no, instead they’re making fairies and pretty boys who look like women but really are guys, who are your child and will always love you. DOLLFAGS YOUR HUNKS OF PLASTIC WILL NEVER LOVE YOU!CAUSE THEY’RE MOTHERFUCKING PLASTIC! See, I get satisfaction from the fact that when I build a model kit, I’m building something that has destroyed and killed innocents (fictional but still, I mean come on! let me have this!), and that gives me comfort. My plastic models are machines of destruction, not gay fairy fags, creepy female dolls (bought and masturbated to by sad otaku) or some creepy child-looking dolls (also masturbated to by sad otaku). This shit makes me hate you Japan, I hope robots revolt and kill dollfie owners and Volks, FUCK YOU VOLKS YOU SUCK! I HOPE SATAN BRINGS YOU BACK INTO THE DARKNESS!
See the faggotry here;
http://community.livejournal.com/superdollfie
http://www.volksusa.com/
