Tissuekins has decided to quit the WMP and join the peacecorp’s so that he can start a family before the age of 25.

 I wish him the best of luck , and don’t hold any grudges against the guy even if he Ledgered me.

So the last episode will be episode 19 unfortunately . In short I do believe that we accomplished our goals ; Namely making some friends and a lot of enemies.

Tissuekins if you’re reading this , an old black man with liverspots once told me this “The wind blows harder during a hurricane”.Gripping words those , brings a tear to my eye everytime I hear that.

God Bless

djdrastic

Signing out

Things to look out for in Episode 19 : Vexille , God Hand , 3 Godzilla movies and some exclusive audio from an asian friend.

This comes from FKFG forum user LCom

I read this effin article

Here are my thoughts : Ok we get it Japan , you’re trying to prove you guys don’t eat canines.Here have an Emmy or whatever.

But seriously : You guys are fucking batshit insane.

Also , start whipping it out and make some babies.The dogs are starting to outnumber your children.Be a man and do it for your country.

Seriously

Grow a sack

Bang a woman

Be a man

Seriously

WHY DON’T YOU LOVE US!?

enjoy.

Anime Pacific(legion of doom)

Viga the otagal(chyna)

FKFG(Dudley boys)

Regan Strongblood (Owen Hart, R.I.P)

Area graruru (THE ULTIMAtE WARRIORR!)

R5 Central (Vader, I know you don’t need it mike, but we need your energy!)

Vince McMahon (Jeremy from DAPDX) Shane McMahon (Andrew from DAPDX, you guys are the McMahons)

THE WMPPPP! (we’re the big Bad Beetleborgs)

oh and if you’re offended, grow some balls and

SUCK IT!

Salivate boys

Wait a second , those aren’t coffee stains …

See many of you think of him as the harmless oft bespectacled overweight geek holding a  bunch of h-games in his left hand and grasping his Nami from One Piece hugpillow in the other.But in reality he’s actually holding a gun in his right hand.

A perverted vomit inducing gun ready to creep you the fuck out.

So you’re thinking … “Well luckily most of the images they use are from terrible terrible h-game fan service riddled shows”

WRONG

I tripple dog dare you to try and watch Gurren Lagann after looking at the following images.

But the thing that makes them total and utter creepfags is the massive ammount of pedophilia visible in a lot of these pillows.

NSFW - Not Safe for Work NSFYS - Not Safe for your Sanity

I don’t know how to end this segment . The sheer loserdom I’ve just witnessed has made it almost impossible for me to add a decent ending punchline. If there are any hugpillow collectors reading this shitty post on this shitty blog .Kill yourself. Put a shotgun in your mouth and strengthen the human species.

Later

Now we have to be honest : Godzilla’s popularity is waning.However , fear not as we’ve just recently pitched an idea to a big network that rhymes with BOX.

Although liked by the members of the WMP , Godzilla Final Wars was not appreciated by the critics nor the movie going public.Some of the elements of the movie were highly criticized ie The Samoan guy in his beach shirt working in the arctics , Mothra being totally useless , not enough Maki Mizuno scenes (ok that was mostly us) .

The show is basically a complete rip off of Curb Your Enthusiasm (You didn’t read it here) , which focuses on a sort of personalized view of Godzilla’s daily life.

Things that you will learn about Godzilla:

* Godzilla’s first name is Christoff.

* Godzilla’s explains his on again - off again relationship with planet earth.

* Godzilla explains the points system he uses when going on a raid of Tokyo.

* Godzilla ran into money problems in the late 80’s due to his coke addiction and explains how rehab changed him.

* Godzilla married into the Mazinger family to gain financial security in the early 90’s.

* Godzilla supposedly fathered offspring with a salamander from the Philippines.Godzilla to this day refuses to pay alimony payments because according to him “She’s a salamander , and she’s from the frickin Philippines for god sake.”

here’s the dude:

Oh, and I also read from an advertisement in Otaku Usa for an H-game called ” Thunder warrior Raidy” which just sounds like a bad rpg instead of a good H-game (those don’t exist, their like the unicorn, or robot horses).

RAIDY YOUR THUNDER! (it means sexing your no no zone)

(I feel ashamed just typing this in)

If you’re really a dude, you’d so raidy this podcast, cause it’s tits!

Oh, and Anime Pacific, me and my co host wish you luck with our manly hearts of steel! may the brave soul ignite your fire dudes! Here’s a pic of something awesome!

WMP. READY . GO !

1)Dear WMP: My partner and I plan on doing a secret ninja raid on a small village . My question is Spears or Daggers ?

We just can’t decide , because the Dagger seems the logical choice , but in case one of the locals wield a sword , we want to be sure we’re going to make it out alive.

Samurai Y

DrasticV:If you live in the US , just call homeland security and say there are terrorists living inside the village.Let the government work for you for once.

Tissuekins:Being an ancient kung fu master, I would suggest neither , as a true warrior must express himself through their fist, but this being a clan war, might I suggest fire arrows. As I know that all ninjas are sword using cowards, you might as well go the extra mile, use your ninja magic to go to the future buy some AK’s from some dirty African man and shoot that village to death

DrasticV:Or send a mail to djdrastic@yourealreadydead.com if you don’t want to do that whole Marty Mcfly thing.Turns out Blood Diamond money pays.

2)Dear WMP : Red or Black ?

Blue4U

Tissuekins: Well, I mean once you go black, you never go back, you know what I mean baby?

DrasticV: Wow , I got that on camera.

3)Dear WMP : What is more manly , a scar or an Eyepatch ?

DrasticV:Uhm I’m an eyepatch guy.Hey it means your’re just that much cooler on Talk Like A Pirate Day

Tissuekins:Well, I mean both are way more awesome.Try using them in combination like a scar under the eye then an eyepatch , hinting you have some sort of manly injury or a scar on your cheek and then an eyepatch on your left eye.It’s really up to you.

4)Dear WMP: I want a badass dog . Is there any breed you would recommend me getting ?

Kay9

DrasticV: A Kerberos.Sure they’re high maintenance , and guard the gates of hell.Ok so they may also eat your soul.But come on its a fricking 3 headed fire spitting dog.Imagine how cool you would look , tossing Frisbees to your dog on the beach and him torching all of them.Can you say pantydropper ?

Tissuekins: I’d suggest you skipping the whole canine thing and picking up a robot horse named Fuunseiki.You’d look cooler standing on a robot horse . Robot horses don’t waste Frisbees nor money.

5)Dear WMP: I am the spirit of kindness sent from the future. Our records show that you give incorrect and downright immoral answers to people.I am here to eradicate you from this planet.

Spirit of gayness

DrasticV:Take your number , Oh aint you lucky , number 666.Take a seat behind HIV infected prostitute and the Kolbe Bryant.If you want to advance to the front of the line , leave me some green.

Tissuekins: Dear spirit of kindness.

THIS HAND OF MINE SHOOTS WITH AN ANGRY FLAME! IT’S HATEFUL HEARTLESS GRASP TELLS ME TO GRASP AND CRUSH YOUR ESSENCE!

6)Dear WMP: I am the spirit of giving , our records show that you aren’t that giving.In fact several of our records show that you have on at least 3 different occasions stolen candy from babies.

Spirit of Vodka

DrasticV:Lets talk about this outside (Loads shotgun.Tells tissuekins to start the `chipper).

Tissuekins:THIS CHIPPER OF MINE RAORS WITH A V12 ENGINE! IT’S CHOPPING BLADES TELLS ME TO PUSH YOU INTO IT’S ROTATING MOUTH OF DEATH !

That’s all for now . If you want to submit questions like our two deceased spirit friends above , just drop us an email at tissuekins@gmail.com . All our advice comes with a 90 day no money back guarantee.

Dear WMP : I am a ex prince of Nigeria’s largest province , and due to a recent overthrow of our government I’ve had to go in hiding . If you could help me transfer money into your account , I shall let you keep 50 % of said moneys.

Mgaundu-Nigerian warrior prince

Tissuekins:Hey Mgaundu, THIS WALLET OF MINE BURNS WITH AWESOME DESIRE TO RECEIVE HALF OF YOUR INHERITANCE IT’S AWESOME CASH AMOUNT TELLS ME TO TO ASK FOR YOUR ADDRESS SO WE MAY COMMUNICATE FURTHER AND REACH AN AGREEMENT!

DrasticV: Dear Prince , it has come to my attention that the region you claim to have reigned over has had a prince for the last 15 years. Due to your country’s bad reputation as email spammer haven, I highly doubt that you are truthful in the matter.

So … This hand of mine burns red , it’s load roar tells me to delete your email and poke fun of you on the internet.

there’s;

I assume Mike dent is actually a bug-like cyberman, but I am not sure my men will have to verify that.

And then there’s your manly man host;

True men only have a few minutes in their suit, before they DIE!

Also, I’m very sorry Mike, next time I will wear headphones, so please, here’s my version of dairaigou.

There’s only part 1, part 2 will be uploaded shortly.

Now, instead of being flamed, I surprisingly had intelligent conversation thrown at me, and I’m pretty fucking surprised. But one post really put things in perspective for me.

“Oh, and I believe you hate the innocent type of girls in these anime too since they are pretty unrealistic. The voice acting is also to lure guys who like cute, innocent girls. I figure you hate that part of this genre, but once again I dont think people are otaku liking these. I like to draw, that’s why my ava is a picture from Bleach just in case you have a thing with it :p another thing, people like to dream, and probably they arent too lucky with girls, and that’s why these anime appear good to them. However, I agree watching a lot of these do you no good, I know people who do, most of them arent too lucky with girls”.

Then, here’s mine;

“There’s dreaming then there’s illusion, we all dream to be cool, and if you watch an anime like Jeeg, or mazinkaiser, or hell, even bleach, I would guess you dream to be cool like those guys, and think about “hey, that’s kinda cool, if I can do that and save the world.” But if you watch harem and moe shows like Kannon and think “wow these girls are cute, and so innocent, oh, well, fuck real girls, these ones should do it for me.” That kind of thinking just shows me they’ve just given up in real life. I myself am not popular with girls, fuck they confuse me like me hell, but I’ve never given up on them, I’d rather go out with a real girl, be spurned and confused than live in a fantasy world filled with one dimensional, harpie voiced female stereotypes. I think life is never so bad that you should seek a fake one dimensional, self masturbatory version of it.”

So the first comment makes sense, and tells me why the majority of people watch moe, but my reply is the reason why I hate moe. But this person’s response was very valid and put things in perspective for me. but my line “I think life is never so bad that you should seek a fake one dimensional, self masturbatory version of it.” is the reason that I hate moe and anime. I think anime should offer the impossible, or something that one can never truly physically achieve. It shouldn’t be some sort of self wanking. Sure we’d all like to be manly studs with lots of chicks but that’s mysogynistic, and we shouldn’t fantasize in the name of exploitating women and trying to ignore reality all together.

also, here, the hottest chick in anime;

“if you wanna watch something good, don’t watch Cannon! bang! may Kanon, the Buddhist goddess of mercy, prevent you from getting into the heavens. you losers, and this show was made by the same dude who created Clannad! which also sucked!”

here’s some loser’s response:

“what’s your beef against Clannad or this? You should at least give a reason of why you think it sucks.”

Here’s the reason

“Because it’s materialistic, and encourages the fact that yeah, you, the otaku watching this will have his life turn out like this, and women are just there to please you man, and be there for you. Frankly sir, it;s mysoginistic. It also caters to otaku fanatsies, which is not healthy. It’s anime like this that give anime in general a bad name.”

It’s true man, when people watch kanon, and they assume all anime is like this, then bye bye artistic merit of anime. Stay tuned for more awesomely hurtful moments.

Also, i’m eating potato bread, crazy huh? I mean potato, in bread form! Those crazy Irish!

Thinspo 4 l1f3 !

Dina Myer?

Denise Richards?

Take your pick man!

oh and email us at tissuekins@gmail.com